What the hell is this?
Why the hell am I here?
Where the hell is this going?
Does this train always have to travel through doom and gloom Valley? Does it even have one of those double-decker vista cars, where you can climb up to the top level and watch out the windows at the beautiful landscape as it goes by, where you can laugh with your friends and play cards? This valley, with its shadows, dangerous curves, and demons lurking behind the mist; this is what I hate. The ticket I bought has brought me thus far, so I intend to ride it out, and hope that I will see the sunshine soon. My other option is to simply jump ship, but then I’d be walking, and still in this dank dark place. Who knows? Maybe walking on my own is what I need. I’d be getting exercise, and using my own mind and feet, instead of riding along with the rest of the lost folks on this train to nowhere.
I took this vacation to enjoy myself and to feel the comfort of being a part of something larger than myself. I thought I would visit with people and have a good time. I had grand hopes that this would be the right move for me; I thought it would make me happy and fix my achy soul. Now I don’t know if anything will ever do that; and I’m so weary right now, thinking that there’s nothing out there that would actually make me happy.
On the other hand, though, I’m thinking maybe I bought too cheap a ticket. I could’ve been smarter and done some research before purchasing a ride on a train that I didn’t know anything about. I could’ve been more patient and waited until I found a better deal. I know there are plenty of great train rides, and many at a bargain price. Why did I go out and just throw down my money like that? A desperate move. A roll of the dice. Who knows?
But then the irrefutable voice of reason comes to me: Suck it up, fool, it ain’t the train. It’s you.